The Ideal of Self

Spiritual and religious leaders often compare a sense of self with morality–those who exhibit goodness are naturally closer to a spiritual light, therefore, a true self. Philosophers like Sartre believed that “existence precedes essence”- that who you are is locked inside, just waiting to be discovered, released and molded by the world. While theologians and philosophers have differing views of where self actually takes place, none argue that outside influences don’t matter.

“They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.” – Antonio Porchi

How we feel about ourselves has always included how others feel about us. However, it is our own reaction to those outside influences, that bombard us repeatedly in the course of a lifetime, that reveal whether we live to be identified by our own description or one that is written by someone else.

Self Worth Defined by Others

• Appearance
• Competition
• Level of education
• Family rank and affection
• Recognized virtues

We cannot dismiss what others expect of us or be true to our own feelings if we believe that we don’t need regular pats on the back for who we are. Those who are truest to themselves face the reality of these outer factors without letting them hide or replace the true self. They come to terms with the events, places and people outside of themselves, while holding fast to the truth of who they really are.